Friday, November 20, 2009

Queen of Denial Rants and Raves

So we're still dealing with anger and forgiveness and how to get from the first to the second. I love today's messages. Read on for enlightenment!
First up from Ellen: 
I am (perhaps unfortunately) a firm believer in avoidance. If the dastardly individual with whom I'm (obviously righteously) pissed is not someone I have to interact with, I simply avoid them...forever. Anger has a way of fading over time, whether we want it to or not. 

If I absolutely cannot avoid the cretin, then I use the "step through the curtain" technique. Imagine a curtain in front of you (made of glass beads, silk damask or whatever works for you). Step through the curtain and leave the anger on the other side. It's now hidden behind the curtain and is firmly in your past - you can ignore it because it's no longer in your face. Denial. It's a wonderful thing--Ellen
Anonymous writes: 

I've found that only two things really work for me in the anger-releasing-let-it-go-and-move-on-department. 1) A very, very long walk with the dogs, preferably somewhere remote where I can rant unobserved--it helps if the weather is truly appalling for a bit of added drama. Sometimes the physical exertion seems to replace the mental anguish. 2) A very, very long grumble with a select group of long-suffering friends over several glasses of wine. Usually by the end of the evening the bad stuff has become really quite funny, sometimes hilarious, at least for a while.
Anonymous, I suppose you could combine your two methods by wrapping yourself in a curtain and forcing your friends to accompany you on a long walk in the howling wind and rain, while you swill wine from a bottle clutched tightly in your angry hand and rant long and loud. Don't scare the dogs! Minus the wine, that would work beautifully for me.
Ellen, I'm impressed that you can leave your anger on the other side of the curtain. When I bring up that image, I see it seeping back around the edges of the fabric. Clearly, you're a more evolved being than am I.
And Anonymous, you bring up a point that an earlier respondent made: Hard physical exercise blunts, dissipates, dissolves, whatever term you choose to use, really helps with the process of letting go of the anger and getting further down the road toward forgiveness.
Stay tuned, folks. More fun stuff next time!

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