Thursday, March 4, 2010

In Which Mrs. Ditter Feels Totally Confused

Dear Mrs. Ditter, To start, that is the question. How do you keep yourself from not beginning? And then how do you keep yourself from not following through? And what about the middle...the boring stuff it seems, with no gratification at all. I have been putting off posting this for months as I searched and searched and I have not been able to find the answer. I sit, therefore, I am. Is that who I am destined to be?

Okay, Obliquely Questioning One, hang on a moment while I grab some caffeine and ponder your conundrum.
Let's start with the last bit: "I sit, therefore I am. Is that who I am destined to be?"
I would suggest you try out this statement instead: "I am, therefore I am." Because--you are. We all just plain are. Sitting, standing, meditating, eating, walking the dog, hollering at our loved ones, laughing, sweeping the floor --we ARE.
As far as being destined for anything, my own personal jury is out on that one. I'm not entirely certain that we come into this world "destined" to be anyone in particular, other than who we are. And I think who we are is, in large part, up to us to find out. And to create. And to change, if we see the need for change (and sometimes the need for change is a subtle whisper in our ears, and sometimes it's a big guy on a tractor crashing down our front door).
Okay, that was the easy stuff. As far as the first part of your inquiry, hmm. You've got me stumped. As a writer, my problem is NOT with "not following through." The beginnings are easy but the following through presents more challenge.
For what are you searching? The meaning of life? Does life have to have a meaning, or are we free to just live it as best we can, given our circumstances (health, environment, education level, income, genetic predisposition to mood swings, etc.)?
I feel as if I'm totally missing the point here, but I offer the following links for those inclined to explore:

The Work with Byron Katie
The Tapping Solution, a Network for Grateful Living

Let me know how it goes.

Questions? Conundrums? Comments? Leave them in the comments box, below, or email me at

And as always, thanks for reading.


  1. I tried to post this before but it went away. I wonder if Obliquely Questioning One isn't talking about keeping one's self from beginning in the sense of, how do I not do some habitual behavior that is destructive to me or others. It might be that the middle boring stuff is because inevitably, that which we seek that we hope is gonna give us a buzz never does, never satisfies the real hunger. Which (in my own experience) is never about compulsive behavior and always about the longings of our heart toward the Heart of All...

  2. Mrs. Ditter: I wanted to post a new question/new topic but can't figure out how to do that. (here I am just posting a comment under another disucsion) Can you please tell me how to post a new question? Also maybe you can put the instructions on your home page. OK . . . . and if "how to post" is already perfectly clear to the rest of humanity, you can pinch me for being vacant.
    Miss Pickle

  3. Two comments here: First Anonymous, above: Yes, that is an excellent point, and thank you for making it. That totally did not occur to me and it makes sense.

    Second Anonymous, also known as Miss Pickle: I WISH there were a way to post a new question, but I've looked all over Blogger and can't figure it out. So. You have two options: Email it to OR leave it in the comments box, which is inelegant but does give you the option to retain total anonymity. Please be assured that anonymity is guaranteed if you email me at the gmail address, as well.

  4. Dear Mrs. Ditter:
    It's Miss Pickle again. I do have a big question that I'm hoping you'll repost and answer on your main page.
    Summer is coming. And school will be out. And I am IN TOTAL DREAD of it. I feel terribly guilty about feeling this way, but I feel DOOMED DOOMED DOOMED by the thought of summer and kid(s) at home and everything else that goes with it . . . carpools, constantly changing schedules of camps & lessons, making endless breakfasts, lunches and dinners (which i have no new ideas for), taking the kids to the pool (and having to appear in my swimsuit), "fun" family trips and all the stress those entail.
    What's wrong with me? I must be a terrible mother. I used to love summer. I should be looking to spending all that time with my offspring. . . . in cranky & awful early adolescence, by the way.

    Should I be fired from this mothering job?
    Ms. Pickle